Your Friends. Who And Where Are They?

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Your Friends? -- Who And Where Are They?

Dear Readers:

In a conversation with Rhonda Sher, we somehow got onto the topic of friends, and of friendship.

In these days of social networking platforms, rapid-messaging and contact "list-building," we use the term "friend" either too loosely, or too optimistically. It seems that we can have as many "friends" as we want, as long as we 1) never ask anything (i.e., help) of them, and 2) we have something to offer them (i.e., money, valuable connections, technical or specialized knowledge). Pity.

As a little boy, I thought that what we asked for, and what we had to offer in return from and for our friends was simply friendship. It was a sympathetic ear, comfort, advice, time together, helping eachother, protecting and defending eachother -- all in the name of friendship.

How many of your contacts are friends? Take an inventory.

When the wheels fall off of your life, when the storm clouds rise over your head, when you are misjudged, slandered, trivialized, unpopular, threatened.....just how many of them would stand by you? How many would see you through? Ask the same of yourself, as a friend -- given the same set of circumstances with one of your contacts, would you be a confidant, a protector, a defender.....a friend???

I am afraid that the notion of pure friendship, and all of the interpersonal goodness that it offers, is almost extinct. Despite the emails, networking communities, tweeting, buzzing, and local business roundtable meetings, we are growing increasingly insular; isolated; guarded.

What I offered to Rhonda (and she has offered me much in return) was my definition of friendship derived from very painful personal experience. The definition requires a test in adverse circumstances...

"Your friends are those people who come running in when everyone else is running out."

Don't let the notion and practice of friendship die. Ultimately, all things being considered, friendship is the greatest gift one person can give to another, and the greatest honor that one person can bestow upon another.

May you be blessed with friendship. May you be a true friend, and may you be enjoy the security, freedom and unbridled happiness of true friendship. That is my wish for everyone.

True friendship brings out the divine element which exists within each of us. It is interpersonal harmony.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

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